Six Degrees of Bacon

14 January 2008

bacon snack

Some days, there's a rhythm to the universe, where one idea keeps bubbling to the surface, trying to make itself known.

Today is one of those days. And the idea is bacon.

It started when I was reading some Apple rumor site about tomorrow's keynote. The sidebar had a headline that involved "cookies" and "bacon". That of course lead to Bacon Chocolate Chip Cookies with Cinnamon Maple Glaze.

My buddy Paul R. Brown then shared the Bacon Cheese Baconburger with me.

Lastly, Ben (my arch-nemesis) gave me the ever-helpful Bacon Flowchart.


29 October 2007

culture politics snack web-20 web-30

A year from today, I'll be 35.

That'll make me eligible to be the President of the United States. I had planned on announcing my web2.0 candidacy, and do a Ze Frank-esque 1-year internship of running for president. I even registered a domain, "designed" a logo, and planned on doing a write-in campaign to demonstrate the power of the hype of New Media.

But in my research, I discovered 4 things:

  1. Stephen Colbert is running for president, so I don't stand a chance.
  2. Even a write-in candidacy requires a crapload of paperwork and signatures and stuff.
  3. Being a libertarian, it'd be ironic to try to be President and force my views of government on the population.
  4. There's this thing called Unity08, trying to do an end-run around the 2-party system. The guy from Law & Order (and TD Ameritrade commercials) is their spokesperson. Getting a Unity08 nomination means that someone else handles the election paperwork.

So, today, I do not announce my run for President. But I'll consider it if someone nominates me for the Unity08 "party".

I do hope I get an invite to Twine today, though.

And maybe some cake. I like cake.

Wake and Bacon

23 February 2007

sleep snack

wake-bacon-open.jpgThis is a fantastic idea.

It's an alarm clock in the form of a pig's head. It is no ordinary pig-head-shaped alarm clock, though. Instead of buzzing, it gently wakes you up by delivering some hot and delicious bacon to you.


How can that be wrong?

It's basically just an alarm clock that has had the buzzer re-routed to some halogen lamps that pull an Easy-Bake on the bacon. Or course, you'll need the matching Sleep-and-Freeze to store your spare frozen bacon rounds, ready for loading each night.

I imagine the vegetarian model, which tosses a salad, will be significantly less successful in waking people up.

Bag of Chips

20 February 2007

marketing snack writing

erik_estrada.jpg Last night I was standing in my kitchen eating some chips straight from the bag while waiting for my wife to finish making her snack. Of course, I turn the bag around and read the backside. We do this with cereal boxes, too.

Sure, we discard the plastic tube the microwave burrito comes in before we consume it. We don't take the package of cold hot-dogs to the table to read while eating our freshly cooked wiener. But chips and cereal are routinely consumed near the original packaging.

What kind of reading material do they give us?

Well, on SunChips, they give me information that inspires me to feel good about my purchase. Wow, 30% less fat than normal chips. But wait, I've already bought the chips. I already feel good about my purchase. Now I'm just bored, and you wasted all that space convincing me to buy something I already bought. Thanks.

Cereal, on the other hand, normally includes "fun facts" or a maze or a puzzle or some other content that actually is worthwhile. Yes, I'm 33. But I still eat cereal and enjoy a good word jumble from time-to-time.

Some chips almost get it right. Any kettle chip tends to include some history about the chip company, but unfortunately, it's always in the form of an idyll Faulkner-esque story that begins with

At ChipCorp, we love chips! That's why we hand-craft ours in small batches from only the finest russet potatoes. Our spuds are hand-picked by specially-trained left-handed New Foundlanders we've imported who understand how great chips start with great potatoes. And Newfies know potatoes!

It's always the same.

Cereal boxes get it right. Chip bags gets it wrong.

But what is it?

It is simply realizing who will be examining which portions of your package throughout its life-cycle. No one looks at the backside of a bag of chips before they make their purchase. Same with cereal. Unless you're 9, and you're trying to figure out what toy comes in the box.

The same applies to everything.

You have a website? Am I downloading something? Why not give me something interesting to read while the download occurs? Not more marketing fluff, as I've already committed to the download. You've sold me already. This is your chance to entertain me. Or to inspire me. Don't bore me, and don't sell me.

A mechanic down the street has a typical marquee with movable letters. But really, what kind of useful changing sign does a mechanic need? Pretty much anything he were to write on the sign would apply to only a small percentage of the people who look at it. Special on brake jobs this week? My brakes are fine, I'll ignore that sign for a while now.

Instead he simply changes out a joke every few weeks. Never a very good joke, but everyone who rides down the street knows the current joke, will comment upon previous jokes, and generally knows about the mechanic.

For example, this week's joke, from memory, is

I hate drinking Coke while ironing. It's soda pressing.

Nope, not good at all. But I remember it. I remember where I've seen it. And it actually provides a modicum of entertainment while sitting at the stop light, and later discussing with the wife while we have a snack, standing in the kitchen.

What are you putting on the back of the bag of chips your company sells?